Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances -- Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions -- Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others -- Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator -- Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask:
- Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
- What are legitimate boundaries?
- What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
- How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
- Aren't boundaries selfish?
- Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?
Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.
Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend are popular speakers, psychologists, cohosts of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! radio program, and cofounders of Cloud-Townsend Clinic and Cloud-Townsend Resources. Both graduated with doctorates in clinical psychology from Rosemead Graduate School of Psychology at Biola University, and both maintain practices in Newport Beach, California. They are best-selling coauthors of several books, including How People Grow, Boundaries in Dating, Boundaries with Kids, The Mom Factor, Safe People, and Twelve "Christian" Beliefs Than Can Drive You Crazy. Dr. Cloud is the author of Change That Heal and Dr. Townsend is the author of Hiding from Love.
个体成熟的一大标志,就是懂得为自己的生活负责,而界线的概念就是帮助我们学会责任感。 孩子能从小就能接触界线、设立自己的界线,使界线成为他们真实性格的一部分,无疑是对他学习责任感最好的帮助。一个三岁的孩子应该能具有初步的界线能力:有能力对别人说适当...
评分看完过犹不及了,不管作者怎么说,用什么例子或什么定义,我认为,全书在说的,就是“责任”二字,所谓界线,大约就是分清哪些是自己的责任,哪些是别人的责任,承担起自己的责任,就是爱自己,也是爱别人。因而,过份的自卑与过份的自恋都不是爱自己,因为这些都是可以产生后...
评分我其实是为了学习如何养小孩才看这本书的。我非常希望能够培养一个独立,精神健康的宝宝。看了这书后,发现其实自己的问题最大了。我以前的生活目标就是尽可能地去帮助别人,宁可自己苦死,累死也要周围人快乐。结果就是自己真的要苦死,累死了,但有的时候别人还不高兴,还埋...
评分这本书对我,是个转折点! 每天生活在这个世界上,总觉得哪里不对劲,可就是不清楚。 这本书告诉你,你生活的界限在哪里,你的界限能帮助你解决很多问题。 于是,我开始全面审视我的界限。 于是,我开始真正建立我的界限。 于是,我的生活完全改变了模样。
评分给一些问题的发生定义为:界线不清楚。强调自己要对自己负责。 但并未深入谈到界线不清楚产生的原因是什么?由于不好意思拒绝别人、热心过度、或者是想包办全场导致的界限不清楚,那在这想法背后的来自自己心的问题是什么呢?作者并未深入阐述,可能是惧怕人,掌控权等。 没有...
Reading it again.
评分很多地方宗教味太浓。。。但主题思想个人看来是非常正确的。对人与人界限的来源,各种体现,各种问题有很深入的阐述。我个人就是个人界限不够强的人,引发了不少苦恼,努力改啊。
评分从宗教角度不够信服,但是从信仰角度有好的立意,从日常来说值得每个人读一读,虽然不够深不够有层次,但足以有指导作用,自从几年前mentor们把Boundary这个概念引入我的生活,自己就开启了生存新的大门,很多东西有了界定,很多困难有了步骤,很多迷惑也多了耐心和解释。亚洲人确实文化里太没有界限了,日常很多小事都是庸人自扰如果没有自己的原则和界限。
评分Work In process
评分Christian view of yes and no
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