发表于2024-12-25
THE GUARD WITHIN pdf epub mobi txt 電子書 下載 2024
You did die. We talked so often of your dying, and you
were determined not to, not just yet. But you did die. Nearly
four months ago, and I still cannot believe it. Most people
do not want to talk about death and mourning. I want to
talk of it all the time because you are the person who I have
loved the most, and you have died. I know all about the
outer world of social responsibility, so no one can accuse me
of continuing to grieve for you. You did not wish to leave
your wife and your daughter and your brother, and some of
your colleagues and friends. You did not wish to leave me
either, and I do not know how to live without you. You
knew it would be so.
You had not intended to take a proper holiday this year,
but in August you were forced to rest. It was the end of a
London summer which had been filled with fatigue and
worries and too much work. You would have cbntinued, but
you could not. You went with your wife to your house in the
west country. I know it only from your descriptions. It is a
small house; you said like a hut. It stands above the sea and
the cliffs on a hill where scrub-oaks grow. The country is
wild. You planted shrubs round the house and on the hill.
You took flowering currant and buddleia from the gardener
at the hospital and planted them in the spring. The bracken
always annoyed you. It grew so fast in the summer and
smothered your plants while you were away. That was how
you found it when you arrived. You had arranged for it to
be kept, but people are not always reliable. You started to
work, cutting the bracken on the hill. You worked and
worked, and refused to leave some for another day. It was
at the end of August, and you came upon a wasp's nest. I
was told that as you started away from it up the hill, your
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THE GUARD WITHIN pdf epub mobi txt 電子書 下載 2024