"Us and Them" - childhood memories of a family "who don't believe in TV"
"Let It Snow" - the day when Sedaris's mother locked her children out in the snow
"The Ship Shape" - childhood memories of the second home that his father never bought
"Full House" - a childhood game of strip poker gives the young Sedaris a touching moment
"Consider the Stars" - reflecting on the cool kid at school
"Monie Changes Everything" - Sedaris' rich aunt
"The Change in Me" - the 13-year-old Sedaris wants to act like a hippie
"Hejira" - Sedaris' father kicks him out of his house due to his homosexuality
"Slumus Lordicus" - Sedaris' father's experiences as a landlord of a section 8 apartment complex in the early 80s.
"The Girl Next Door" - Sedaris' relationship with a girl from a troubled family
"Blood Work" - a case of mistaken identity while cleaning houses
"The End of the Affair" - Sedaris and Hugh's different reactions to a love story
"Repeat After Me" - Sedaris' visit to his sister Lisa, and his family's feelings about being the subject of his essays
"Six to Eight Black Men" - thoughts about the traditional Dutch Christmas story, among other cultural oddities
"Rooster at the Hitchin' Post" - Sedaris' younger brother is born and gets married
"Possession" - searching for a new apartment, and Anne Frank's house
"Put a Lid on It" - a visit to Sedaris' sister Tiffany's home, and their relationship
"A Can of Worms" - Sedaris's mind wanders as he, Hugh, and a friend eat at a diner
"Chicken in the Henhouse" - prejudiced attitudes towards homosexuals in America
"Who's the Chef?" - bickering between two people in a long-term relationship
"Baby Einstein" - the arrival of his brother's first baby
"Nuit of the Living Dead" - a late night encounter at home in rural France
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