About this book
“Will all the adulterers in the room please stand up?” So begins Laura Kipnis’s profoundly provocative and waggish inquiry into our never-ending quest for lasting love, and its attendant issues of fidelity and betrayal. In the tradition of social critiques such as Christopher Lasch’s The Culture of Narcissism, Against Love keenly examines the meaning and cultural significance of adultery, arguing that perhaps the question concerns not only the private dilemma of whether or not to be faithful, but also the purpose of this much vaunted fidelity.
With a novelist’s eye for detail, psychological acuity, and linguistic panache, Kipnis at once humorously and seriously explores the rules and rituals of modern coupledom and domesticity (from the establishment of curfews and whereabouts to actual searches and seizures), even as she deftly analyzes the larger power structures that they serve. She wonders: Might adulterers be regarded not only as sexual renegades but as unwitting social theorists posing essential political questions about the social contract itself? What is the trade-off between personal gratification and the renunciations society demands of us? And is “working at your relationship” just another way of propping up the work ethicæas if we weren’t all overworked enough as it is? If adultery is ultimately a referendum on the sustainability of monogamy, how credible is the basic premise of modern coupledom: that desire for your one and only love can and will persist through a lifetime of togetherness (despite so much evidence to the contrary)?
Against Love offers no easy answers. Rather it intends to engage you in a commonsensical and brave examination of the plight of the modern personality, caught between the vicissitudes of desire and the decrees of social conformity.
Praise
“Laura Kipnis’s witty and cunning treatise against modern love is as trenchant and unexpected, as jubilantly incendiary a work of social criticism as I’ve read in years. It is an explosive pleasure.”
--Edward Hirsch
“Against Love is a wonderfully provocative book, daring and incisive, written with verve and no small amount of humor. It raises a thousand questions most of us lack the courage to ask, about domestic life and even the meaning of the human enterprise, while remaining at every instant a delight to read.”
--Scott Turow
“Deeply subversive, tough-minded, clear-thinking, provocative and shrewd, Against Love has the nerve to wonder out loud if marriage has evolved into an instrument of social control. Yet what’s so winning about Kipnis’s manifesto is its high-spirited lack of cynicism; she is not so much against love as for honesty.”
--James Atlas
Author Biography
Laura Kipnis is a professor of media studies at Northwestern University. She has received fellowships and grants from the Guggenheim Foundation, the Rockefeller Foundation, and the National Endowment for the Arts. She has published numerous essays and articles on sexual politics and contemporary culture both here and abroad.
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说实话,这本书的文风非常“冷峻”,毫不煽情。我期待能读到一些关于浪漫邂逅或者心灵相通的描绘,但这本书完全没有满足我这些“俗气”的期待。它采取了一种近乎人类学田野调查的客观视角,去观察和记录人类在追求连接过程中那些徒劳的挣扎。作者的语言精准到令人发指,每一个动词、每一个形容词似乎都经过了千锤百炼,服务于表达那种冰冷的存在主义困境。我特别喜欢它对“距离感”的处理,它探讨了如何在两个渴望独立自我的个体之间维持一个微妙的、不被吞噬的物理和心理空间。这种处理方式,比起那些把“爱”描绘成无所不能的万灵药的作品,显得真实和有力得多。虽然阅读过程中不时感到一种疏离感,但正是这种疏离感,让读者能够跳脱出来,以一个旁观者的角度去审视自身的情感模式。这本书更像是一面镜子,映照出我们努力想隐藏的、关于孤独的真相。
评分这本书的叙事视角和时间线处理简直是一场高难度的实验。它不是一个线性的故事,更像是一幅由无数碎片、回忆的闪回和假设性的未来场景拼贴而成的马赛克。如果你期待一个清晰的主人公和明确的剧情走向,你可能会在头几章感到迷失和挫败。但一旦你适应了这种非线性的叙事节奏,你会发现作者的意图——他想表达的不是一个单一的情感体验,而是一种弥漫在现代生活中的、破碎的、多维度的关系状态。书中那些跳跃的场景,有时候是某人对另一人说的一句话的无限放大,有时候则是对一个动作的哲学剖析。这种结构本身就在模仿我们大脑处理复杂人际关系时的那种跳跃和矛盾。它迫使你的大脑高速运转,去填补那些留白的线索,去构建属于你自己的情感地图。这本书的阅读体验是高度个体化的,你从中学到的东西,很大程度上取决于你内心世界的回响。
评分这本书的哲学思辨性实在太强了,简直可以拿来做大学研讨会的教材了。我注意到作者在探讨一系列关于“束缚”与“自由”的悖论时,引用了大量晦涩难懂的文本和历史典故,这使得阅读过程更像是一场智力上的攀登。它不是那种迎合大众口味的畅销小说,它要求读者具备一定的知识储备和耐心去跟随作者构建的复杂逻辑链条。对我个人而言,最大的震撼在于作者如何将个体意志的抗争与社会建构的规范进行对比。那些关于“奉献”、“承诺”的传统观念,在作者的笔下,被一层层剥开,露出了其背后冰冷的社会控制逻辑。我必须承认,有些段落我需要反复阅读三四遍才能真正理解其深层含义,但这绝对是值得的。因为它打开了我看待世界的新视角,让我开始质疑那些被我们视为“天经地义”的情感准则。这本书的结构非常严谨,每一个论点都环环相扣,形成了一个滴水不漏的思想迷宫。读完后,我感觉自己的思维模式被彻底重塑了,迫切地想要和同样读过这本书的人进行一场深入的辩论。
评分我对这本书的文学成就持非常高的评价,尤其是它在语言上的创造力。作者似乎对传统的表达方式感到厌倦,他创造了一套属于这本书内部的词汇系统和隐喻库。很多描述情感状态的词语,乍一看非常陌生,但读完上下文后,你会惊叹于其贴切和新颖。这种语言上的冒险精神,使得阅读过程充满了发现的乐趣。它挑战了我们对日常语言的依赖,强迫我们用全新的方式去命名那些我们从未敢于正视的内心感受。书中关于“渴望”与“满足”之间永恒鸿沟的论述,尤其让我印象深刻,它不是简单地说“得不到的才是最好的”,而是深入探讨了“得到”本身如何成为一种新的“失去”。这本书的篇幅不算短,但由于其文字密度极高,每一页都蕴含着丰富的信息量,让人不得不放慢速度,细细咀嚼。它是一本需要被珍藏起来,时不时拿出来重读的文本,每一次重读都会带来新的感悟,因为它深植于人性的核心困境之中。
评分天呐,我最近读完了一本让人心头一震的书,简直不敢相信自己的眼睛。这本书的叙事风格极其独特,它不是那种按部就班地铺陈情节,而是像一个老朋友拉着你,在你耳边低语着那些关于人性和情感的隐秘角落。作者的文字像一把锋利的手术刀,毫不留情地剖开了我们习以为常的那些“爱”的假象。我尤其喜欢它对“亲密关系”这一概念的解构,它没有给出任何明确的答案或救赎,只是冷静地展示了那些我们试图用“爱”来粉饰太平的脆弱和不堪。读到一半的时候,我甚至有点喘不过气来,感觉自己被剥光了所有伪装,赤裸裸地站在作者的审视之下。这本书的节奏感把握得极好,时而如暴风骤雨般激烈,时而又陷入一种令人窒息的沉寂,这种张弛有度让读者完全沉浸其中,无法自拔。它不是一本能让你读完后感到轻松愉快的书,但它绝对是一次值得的、深刻的、甚至可以说是痛苦的自我审视之旅。我向所有对现代情感关系感到困惑的朋友推荐它,它会逼着你重新思考,你究竟在追逐什么,又在逃避什么。
评分deconstruction of modern conception of love and individuality. 做学术,不就是为了终有一日可以写一本这样的书吗. (一个想到的是有一天午饭跟social policy的大家聊到底sex是不是应该变成社会福利
评分deconstruction of modern conception of love and individuality. 做学术,不就是为了终有一日可以写一本这样的书吗. (一个想到的是有一天午饭跟social policy的大家聊到底sex是不是应该变成社会福利
评分deconstruction of modern conception of love and individuality. 做学术,不就是为了终有一日可以写一本这样的书吗. (一个想到的是有一天午饭跟social policy的大家聊到底sex是不是应该变成社会福利
评分deconstruction of modern conception of love and individuality. 做学术,不就是为了终有一日可以写一本这样的书吗. (一个想到的是有一天午饭跟social policy的大家聊到底sex是不是应该变成社会福利
评分deconstruction of modern conception of love and individuality. 做学术,不就是为了终有一日可以写一本这样的书吗. (一个想到的是有一天午饭跟social policy的大家聊到底sex是不是应该变成社会福利
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