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EVEN WELL-INTENDED PEOPLE CAN CAUSE HARM Have you ever heard yourself or someone else say: "Some of my best friends are... (Black, White, Asian, etc.)"? "I don't think of you as... (Gay, Disabled, Jewish, etc.)"? "I don't see color, I'm colorblind"? These statements and dozens like them can build a divide between us and the people we interact with. Though well-intended, they often widen the diversity gap sometimes causing irreparable harm personally and professionally. If you've ever wanted to be more effective in your communication with others, or have been afraid of saying the wrong thing, then this concise guide is essential to becoming more inclusive and diversity-smart. A POWERFUL DWERSITY TRAINING TOOL FROM ONE OF THE MOST RESPECTED DIVERSITY TRAINERS.

CHAPTER 1 Setting The Stage
What This Book Is
What This Book Is Not
Political Correctness
A Word About Words
CHAPTER 2 The 10 Core Concepts
1. Intent vs. Impact
2. Pile-On-Principle (P.O.P)
3. Explain Aways
4. In-Group/Out-Group Language
5. Advantaged and Disadvantaged Group Identities
6. Privilege
7. Being Consistent Is Not Always Fair
8. Allies
9. Raising the B.A.R.
10. Bystander Behavior
CHAPTER 3 The 35 DUMB THINGS WELL-INTENDED PEOPLE SAY
1. “Some of my best friends are…”
2. “I know exactly how you feel!”
3. “I don’t think of you as…”
4. “The same thing happens to me too.”
5. “It was only a joke! Don’t take things so seriously.”
6. “What do ‘your’ people think?”
7. “What are you?” or “Where are you ‘really’ from?
8. “I don’t see color” or “I’m color blind.”
9. “You are so articulate.”
10. “It is so much better than it used to be. Just be patient.”
11. “You speak the language very well.”
12. Asking black people about their hair or hygiene.
13. Saying to gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender people, “What you do in the privacy of your own bedroom is your business.”
14. “Yes, but you’re a ‘good’ one.”
15. “You have such a pretty face.”
16. “I never owned slaves.”
17. “If you are going to live in this country, learn to speak the language!”
18. “She/he is a good person. She/he didn’t mean anything by it.”
19. “When I’ve said the same thing to other people like you, they didn’t mind.”
20. Calling women “Girls, Honey, Sweetie Pie” or other familiar terms.
21. When people of color say, “It’s not the same thing.”
22. When people of faith say, “Love[…]”
23. When white men say, “We are the ones who are being discriminated against now!”
24. Referring to older people as “cute.”
25. Asking a transgender person, “What are you really? Are you a man or a woman?”
26. Referring to the significant other, partner or spouse of a same gender couple as their “friend.”
27. “Why do “they” (fill in the blank) always have to sit together? They are always sticking together.”
28. “People just need to pick themselves up by their bootstraps.”
29. People with disabilities are “courageous.”
30. “That’s so gay/queer” or “That’s so retarded.”
31. “I don’t see difference. We’re all part of the same race, the human race.”
32. “I don’t care if you are pink, purple or orange, I treat all people the same.”
33. Asking a transgender person, “Have you had the operation?”
34. Saying to a Jewish person, “You are so lucky to have ‘your’ Christmas spread over a week!”
35. “Here is another book on ‘political correctness’.”
CHAPTER 4 6 Smart Steps For Well-Intended People
1. Start With The End In Mind.
2. Shift Your Thinking From “Me” to “We”
3. Name it - Claim it - Act On It
4. We Are All Different-We Are All The Same
5. We Are All “Multi-clumpable”
6. Have And Maintain A Sense Of Humor”
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