A profoundly personal, deeply felt exploration of the mystery of faith—having it, losing it, hoping for its return.

The son of an Episcopal priest whose faith is balanced by an understanding of human nature, Eric Lax develops in his youth a deep religious attachment and acute moral compass. An acolyte from age six and as comfortable in church as he is at home, he often considers becoming a priest himself. Eventually his faith guides him to resist military service in Vietnam. His principles will not allow him to kill, and he is willing to go to jail for them. His faith abides until, in his mid-thirties, he begins to question the unquestionable: the role of God in his life.

Whatever his doubts, Lax engages with his father, who shaped his faith and was its anchor, and his college roommate and close friend George “Skip” Packard, whose youthful faith mirrored his own, and who chooses military service and mortal combat. Their ongoing and illuminating dialogues—full of wisdom and insight, probing all the avenues and aspects of religious conviction—reveal much about three men who approach God, duty, and war in vastly different ways.

A compelling, powerful, and thought-provoking examination of faith.