The Life I Really Lived: A Novel pdf epub mobi txt 電子書 下載2025

1<br > Once my mother phoned me and said， "Oh， why did tile mother<br > in your story have to be so slangy?"<br > "It s not you， Mama."<br > "But why the mother? Since it s all fiction anyway， the mother<br > didn t have to be the slipshod speaker， did ahe?"<br > No， she didn t. It was all fiction. I wanted， when I began to write，<br > to forget the life 1 had lived and the people 1 had lived among. I<br > imagined and painted a world not only different from， but better<br > than， the one I grew up in. It wasn t difficult. Judge for yourself<br > after you read what follows.<br > Why tell the truth now? The urge to confess is an old one: to<br > come clean; to cease sailing under false colors; to end the belief<br > that I wrote of joy and courage and faith because I had never known<br > anything else. Oh， 1 knew. I knew.<br > I made a choice when 1 first wrote. I created a landscape more<br > familiar to me than the hills 1 had climbed， the branches 1 had<br > waded， the corn 1 had hoed. I pictured in those early novels the<br > landscapes of my heart.<br > I can speak freely now. Mama is lm longer here to care how<br > mothers speak. Actually， only three of tile people I ll rightly name<br > (four， counting myself) are still alive.<br > Perhaps I do wrong to decry those first pious stories. Perhaps joy<br > has been the true story of nay life. Perhaps tile events 1 wimessed，<br > and sometimes participated in， were no more a part of me than the<br > wind that hlows through the forest is a part of the forest.<br > Barn-burning， dog-poisoning， incest， rape， suicide， murder: these<br > events of my girlhood will be briefly toht. 1 have my need to con-<br > fess. You may not have a like need to suffer.<br > So， after ahnost forty years of writing and eighteen m/vels， 1 am<br > determined to look inward: not tor tile l)urpose， in today s clich6，<br > of "discovering my identity." 1 take it that what 1 did is who 1 am.<br >