具体描述
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Book Description
In every workplace there are difficult people who, at best, make life stressful and, at worst, interfere with project and career goals. This book delivers a proven approach to finding common ground and creating a more productive interaction with difficult people.
From the Back Cover
Learn how to disarm problem people, find common ground, and turn conflict into cooperation
In the last decade, technology has spawned a whole new breed of annoyances. From cell-phone chatters to email spammers to voice-mail hogs, life is now increasingly filled with even more difficult people.
At best, such people make life stressful and unpleasant. At worst, they can keep you from achieving important goals. But it's fully within your power to bring out the best behavior in people who are at their worst. The proven, innovative approach in Dealing with Difficult People will help you to:
* Identify 10 bothersome behaviors and deal successfully with each of them
* Understand why people become difficult
* Use sophisticated techniques to neutralize whining, negativity, attacks, tantrums and more
* Cultivate the nine "take-charge" skills that prevent people from becoming difficult
There's no reason to let unpleasant people get in the way of your performance in the workplace or in your life. With the help of these effective approaches to understanding and circumventing disruptive and annoying behavior, you can overcome the obstacles posed by difficult people in every phase of your life.
Difficult people are a fact of life. They blame, barrel over, whine, run away, or explode without notice. And the more you try to work with them, the harder they seem to work to screw up your plans.
The first step in learning how to work with problem people is to discover what makes them tick. Dealing with Difficult People explains where difficult people are coming from, and provides you with specific action steps you can take to neutralize their assaults and work successfully with them. Written by Dr. Rick Kirschner and Dr. Rick Brinkman, who teamed up more than 25 years ago to promote the health and well being of individuals, teams, and companies by empowering them with good communication skills, this entertaining and enlightening guidebook details:
* The four general intents that determine how people will react in any situation, and how to use them to understand the roots of a conflict
* Blending skills for reducing differences between yourself and a problem person
* Redirecting skills for using a growing rapport to change the trajectory of a problem interaction
* Personal techniques, from body posture to voice volume, for influencing behavior
* The 10 strategies for the 10 most difficult behaviors
* Projection strategies to motivate problem people to recognize their issues and change themselves
Your life is filled with people who frustrate you, enrage you, and battle with you every step of the way as you work to achieve your project and career goals. It's time you stopped fighting on their terms. Dealing with Difficult People gives you an innovative and psychologically sound program for understanding and working with all types of people, not matter how destructive their behaviors, by proactively using their own internal drivers to disarm them and create more productive interactions.
Book Dimension
length: (cm)20.5 width:(cm)13.2
作者简介
目录信息
读后感
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用户评价
这本**《Dealing With Difficult People》**，我刚翻了几页，就被它那种直击痛点的叙事风格给抓住了。它并没有急着抛出什么“万能公式”，而是非常细腻地描绘了我们在日常工作和生活中，那些令人心力交瘁的“难缠”角色。比如，那个总是推卸责任的同事，他总能找到一百个理由来证明“不是我的错”，读到这里，我简直想拍案叫绝，这不就是我办公室那位老油条的翻版吗？作者没有用那种居高临下的说教腔调，反而像一个经验老到的心理咨询师，带着同理心去解剖这些复杂的人际互动。书中对“冲突的根源”分析得尤其透彻，它引导你去思考，那些所谓的“难搞”，往往源于对方深层的需求没有被满足，或者是一种长期的防御机制在作祟。它提供的不是简单的“如何反击”的战术手册，而更像是一张人际关系领域的“地形图”，让你在面对那些让人血压飙升的时刻，能够停下来，先看清地势，再决定下一步的行动。我特别喜欢作者在描述不同情境时所展现出的那种细致入微的观察力，每一个案例都仿佛是从现实生活中精心挑选出来的样本，真实到让人感到一丝不安，但也正是这种真实感，才让这本书具有了强大的实践指导意义。它教会我的第一课，不是如何改变别人，而是如何调整我们自己看待问题的滤镜。
评分这本书的结构设计简直是教科书级别的精妙。它没有采用传统的“问题-解决”的线性结构，而是通过一系列精心构建的场景模拟，将读者带入一个又一个高压情境之中。比如，书中对“权力斗争型人格”和“受害者情结型人格”的区分，简直入木三分。前者总是试图通过控制和打压来获得安全感，后者则擅长利用他人的同情心来逃避责任。作者在阐述这两种类型的行为模式时，所使用的语言和举例，都带着一种冷峻的洞察力，让人不得不佩服作者对人性幽暗面的深刻理解。读到处理“权力斗争者”的章节时，我立刻想到了我部门里那位喜欢微观管理的领导，书里提到了一个核心策略——“承认部分事实，但坚定拒绝不合理要求”，这个技巧的运用，既不伤和气，又能有效地维护自身立场，非常高明。这本书的价值就在于，它提供的工具箱里装的不是锤子，而是精密的螺丝刀和水平仪，需要读者投入思考和练习，才能真正发挥作用。它要求你运用智力，而不是蛮力，去化解人际间的张力。
评分说实话，我对这类自助类书籍通常持保留态度，总觉得它们卖的是“速效鸡汤”。但**《Dealing With Difficult People》**给我的感觉完全不同。它的行文节奏感非常强，不像有些书那样冗长拖沓，每一章似乎都在推进一个更深层次的认知。我印象最深的是关于“情绪化处理”的那一部分。它没有简单粗暴地告诉你“要保持冷静”，而是深入剖析了情绪的生理机制和传播路径。作者引用了一些有趣的神经科学小知识，解释了为什么当我们被挑衅时，大脑会瞬间进入“战或逃”模式，从而导致我们无法进行理性沟通。这种科学背后的支撑，让那些理论听起来不再是空泛的口号，而是有坚实基础的策略。我尤其欣赏它在提供应对技巧时的“非对抗性原则”。它强调的不是如何赢下争吵，而是如何巧妙地设置“边界”和“缓冲区”，让冲突不至于升级到互相伤害的地步。读这本书的过程，更像是一次自我修复和内心武装的过程，它让我开始有意识地去观察自己被触发时的反应，并尝试用书中的方法进行微调。这真的让我意识到，处理棘手人物，首先要处理的是自己的“反应系统”。
评分我这次阅读体验非常独特，感觉不像是在读一本职场指南，更像是在研读一本关于人类行为学的田野调查报告，只不过这些田野调查的地点都在我们的办公室和家庭里。这本书的语言风格非常注重“行动导向”，它很少使用过于学术化的术语，而是大量采用简洁、有力的动词短语，让人读完后有一种马上就能付诸实践的冲动。其中有一段关于“倾听的艺术”的描述让我久久不能忘怀。作者指出，对付那些喋喋不休、沉浸在自己痛苦中的人，最好的方法往往不是提供解决方案，而是提供一个“未被评判的倾听空间”。这种“被看见”的需求被满足后，对方的攻击性或防御姿态往往会自然瓦解。这彻底颠覆了我过去总是急于插话、急于给出建议的沟通习惯。整本书的论述逻辑严密，层层递进，从识别到分析，再到策略制定，每一步都设计得非常周到，确保读者能够系统地建立起应对复杂人际关系的心理防线。它真正做到了把复杂的人性问题，拆解成了可以管理和应对的具体步骤。
评分这本书最让我感到惊喜的是它对“自我赋权”的强调，这使得它从一本教人“如何对付别人”的书，升华为一本“如何强大自己”的书。作者非常清晰地论证了，当我们试图去“控制”一个我们认为很难相处的人时，我们实际上已经把自己的情绪控制权交给了对方。而这本书的核心思想，似乎是引导我们收回这份控制权。它提供了一套完整的“心理脱敏”练习，教我们如何识别那些习惯性将负面情绪投射到我们身上的“能量吸血鬼”。读到关于如何处理“持续的抱怨者”的那一章节时，作者提出的“有限的同情窗口”概念非常实用——即，设定一个时间段来倾听和表示理解，时间一到，就温和但坚定地引导对话转向建设性的方向。这种平衡的艺术，既保留了人应有的体谅，又避免了自己被无休止的负面情绪所吞噬，堪称高情商的自我保护策略。总而言之，这是一本将深刻的心理洞察与高度可操作性的技巧完美结合的佳作，读完后感觉世界并没有变得更简单，但处理它的能力无疑强大了许多。
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