Make peace with yourself and reclaim your life with Mark Sichel's powerful ten-step healing program. 'That's it. I've had it. I never want to see or hear from you again'. Those words may have caused great anguish, or great relief, at the moment they were spoken - depending on whether you were the giver or the receiver of the powerful punch. But now you're left with the nagging despair of losing a family member. The pain can be overwhelming, but there is a way out. Through the help of "Healing from Family Rifts", you can find peace again and recover from the isolation of family exile. Author and licensed clinical social worker Mark Sichel knows what it's like to suffer a family exile: his parents cut off all communication with him years ago.Now he's applying the steps used during his own recovery to help you overcome the heartbreak of your family rift. Through his powerful and proven ten-step program, along with the stories of other embattled survivors of family wars, you will achieve real, permanent, inner reconciliation, regardless of the cause of the rift - whether divorce, marriage outside your race or religion, emotional abuse, objections to sexual orientation, addictions, or any other reason. From dealing with the shock of the rift to building your second-chance family, from recognizing the signs of acute stress disorder to learning from successful families, Mark Sichel's ten steps to healing will help you achieve serenity and contentment by learning how to make peace with yourself first.Review from "Library Journal" - [This] self-help manual for adults seeking to better their family relationships emphasizes that readers can change only themselves and their own reactions-not the actions of others. A therapist and licensed clinical social worker, Sichel concentrates on relationships where one family member refuses contact with another, not limiting his discussion to parent-child rifts. Among other strategies, his ten steps lead readers to deal with their own trauma, learn to love themselves, understand family myths and roles, build supportive relationships with others (their 'second-chance family'), and try to heal the break if possible. Drawing on stories from Sichel's patients and from personal experience (his father broke with him twice), this book is sure to be read eagerly by those in difficult family situations - Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, MD Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.Review from "The Chicago Tribune" - 'The empathetic Sichel, a clinical social worker, stresses that those cut off have the right to be happy and at peace...Perhaps what Sichel does best is encourage readers to make meaning out of life's experiences, whatever comes our way'. Mark Sichel is a licensed clinical social worker who counsels individuals, couples, and families in New York City. He has counseled hundreds of clients who have suffered family cutoffs, and has made it through his own family rift as well.
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我必须说,这本书的结构设计堪称大胆而精妙。它并非采用传统的线性叙事,而是巧妙地在过去与现在之间穿梭,像一张精心编织的挂毯,每一条线索都代表着一段被忽略或误解的经历。尤其值得称赞的是,作者对于“未说出口的话语”的处理方式。书中通过大量的内心独白和场景转换,展现了家族成员之间信息传递的巨大失真——那些本可以轻易化解矛盾的简单词句,是如何被时间、傲慢或恐惧层层包裹,最终变成了无法逾越的高墙。阅读过程中,我常常需要停下来,回顾前几章的某些对话场景,然后立刻明白此刻角色的行为逻辑。这种非线性的叙事要求读者保持高度的专注力,但回报也是丰厚的:你不是在读一个故事,你是在参与一场对历史误解的考古。作者的笔触冷静而客观,即便描绘最激烈的情感冲突,也保持着一种克制的距离感,这反而增强了场景的说服力,避免了过度煽情带来的虚假感。整体而言,它成功地构建了一个多维度的情感空间,让人愿意反复咀嚼其中的层次变化。
评分这本书的语言风格非常独特,它糅合了一种近乎诗意的哲思和日常对话的粗粝感。乍一看,有些句子像是散文诗,充满了隐喻和象征,比如将“沉默”比作“凝固的琥珀”,将“和解”比作“在冰封的河流下找到暗涌的暖流”。但紧接着,作者又会插入一段极其口语化、充满烟火气的对白,可能是关于谁忘了付水电费,或者谁又在饭桌上说了不该说的话。这种风格上的巨大反差,恰恰模拟了真实生活中情感冲突的样貌——我们总是在宏大的哲学思考和琐碎的日常烦恼中反复拉扯。对于我个人而言,这种交织让我感到非常放松,因为它提醒我,深刻的内心重建并不意味着要抛弃生活的本质。它既有高屋建瓴的洞察力,又不失对生活细节的尊重,使得这本书的阅读体验既有深度,又充满可亲近性,不像一些同类主题的书籍那样高高在上、难以企及。
评分这本书的叙事节奏简直是教科书级别的!作者对人物内心世界的挖掘细致入微,尤其是对主角在面对长期家庭隔阂时的那种微妙的挣扎和自我怀疑,描绘得极其真实。我记得有一个情节,主角在整理旧物时偶然发现了一封未寄出的信,那一刻,时间仿佛凝固了,那种夹杂着懊悔、渴望被理解和深深的疲惫感,透过文字扑面而来。作者没有急于推动情节发展,而是花费了大量的篇幅去描绘主角在那一瞬间的心理活动,比如呼吸频率的改变、手心的汗意,乃至脑海中闪回的童年片段。这种深入骨髓的心理描写,使得整个阅读过程更像是一场沉浸式的心理体验,而非简单的故事阅读。它没有提供快速的“灵丹妙药”,而是极其审慎地展示了修复关系过程中那些必须经历的、甚至是痛苦的“慢动作”阶段。对于那些经历过类似心路历程的读者来说,这本书提供的共鸣感是无与伦比的,它让你感觉,终于有人能准确地捕捉到那些难以言喻的、在家庭情感漩涡中挣扎的复杂情绪。这种对细腻情感的精准捕捉,是这本书最引人入胜的特质之一。
评分从社会学的角度来看,这本书提供了一个极佳的案例研究样本。它不仅仅关注了个体的情绪修复,更深入探讨了家庭结构在代际传递中的隐形规范。作者巧妙地引入了“沉默的契约”这个概念——那些家族成员们心照不宣地同意不去触碰的禁忌话题。通过描述不同代际成员对同一事件的不同记忆和解读,这本书揭示了权力结构是如何影响记忆的构建和情感的压抑的。例如,书中对“大家长”权威的侧面描写,是如何使得后辈即便拥有明确的证据,也难以挑战既有的叙事框架。我欣赏作者没有将任何一方完全塑造成“恶人”,而是展示了在特定社会文化背景下,个体是如何被训练成维护系统稳定的“共谋者”。这种对结构性问题的关注,使得本书超越了纯粹的个人传记范畴,具有了更广阔的社会批判价值。它迫使读者反思:我们所遵循的“家庭规则”,有多少是真正健康的,又有多少是历史遗留的枷锁。
评分这本书最大的贡献在于它对“希望”的定义进行了彻底的重塑。通常,处理家庭创伤的书籍倾向于描绘一个清晰的“大和解”时刻,一个充满阳光和鲜花的结局。然而,这本书完全避开了这种廉价的浪漫主义。它所呈现的“治愈”,更像是一个漫长、曲折、充满反复的“接受”过程。我特别喜欢书中描写的,主角最终明白,真正的和解可能不是“回到从前”,而是“带着伤痕,以新的方式共存”。这种对现实的深刻理解,让结局显得无比坚实和可信。它没有承诺关系会变得完美无瑕,而是提供了一种更可持续的生存策略:学会设置健康的界限,学会原谅那些无法改变的缺憾。这种务实到近乎冷酷的真诚,反而给予了正在经历痛苦的人们一种更踏实的安慰——我们不需要做到完美,我们只需要继续前行。这种成熟的处理方式,是这本书在众多心灵成长类读物中脱颖而出的关键。
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